The Arrangement
by typinghands
Summary: Bella and Edward are friends who share an office. Bella is searching for a casual hookup, all with no luck. Edward offers to lend a hand...and a few other things. But can no strings attached actually work? Or will feelings get in the way?
1. Chapter 1

Ch 1

Edward Cullen was enjoying a wonderful nap on the couch in his blissfully, empty, shared office when the door opened and slammed with a thud. He groaned, reluctantly opening his eyes.

"Why are men idiots?" Bella Swan demanded. She was pacing in an aggravated circle. Her heels clicked on the tile floor with surprising emphasis considering she was only 5'2''.

He wondered if he could close his eyes again and she would be content to rant to no one. But then he heard her comically loud huff. Clearly, his awake presence was demanded.

"Yes?" He muttered in annoyance, sitting up. He and Bella had shared an office for the past year. Usually, he didn't mind and even reluctantly enjoyed it, but she was pushing it today.

"Why are men idiots?" Bella repeated.

"I'm guessing your date didn't go well." He said wryly, choosing not to delve into the perceived stupidity of men.

"Mike Newton wants to introduce me to his mother." Bella slammed her take-out box on her desk. "I had to fake a work emergency to get out of there."

"His mother? I thought it was only your third date?" Edward didn't like Newton. He was a bland, brown noser in middle management who looked at Bellalike she was meat and didn't properly wash his hands in the bathroom. He had voiced his disapproval with exaggerated eyebrow quirks whenever she mentioned going out with him and asking 'Is there another Mike Newton that works here?' several times. She had ignored his impeccable judgement, per usual.

"It was our second date! He hasn't even seen me naked!" Bella collapsed on the couch next to him. "Thank God, if he saw me naked he would probably have proposed"

Edward choked back...something. All the words he might say seemed to stick in his throat. The idea of Bella naked was untidy and uncomfortable. Bella was just too beautiful with her wavy brown hair, velvet brown eyes, and curvy little body. He had long ago decided to lock away her physical appeal in a locked box deep in his mind labeled 'DO NOT TOUCH (and only think about discreetly)' She was his coworker and friend. The rest was just clutter.

"Really," Bella continued her rant. "Everyone says women want marriage and commitment but every guy I meet wants to talk babies and drag me to long leisurely brunches with their mom."

"Women can be pretty bad, too." Edward had never once, in all of his life asked a woman to have brunch with his mom and he certainly didn't talk babies, whatever the hell that meant. "My last date, she kept wanting to talk about cousin marriages. Albert Einstein, Franklin Roosevelt, all that shit."

"Well," Bella laughed. "That's weird, but hardly the same thing. At this point, I'd kill for an oddball instead of a man gravely informing me over appetizers that we can never have cats because he has an allergy."

"You interrupted me." James gave her his most serious mock frown. "She was softening me up to reveal that she had ran my family tree and we were fourth cousins. She wanted to assure me we could still get married and produce healthy offspring." He shuddered. "I think that beats meeting Mrs. Newton."

"Maybe," Bella conceded. "But that is one bad date. I am on a run of bad dates. I haven't managed to get laid once since my engagement broke a year ago. Somehow I doubt you're having that problem."

"You'd be surprised." Edward ran a hand through his dark, slightly curling hair, looking disgruntled.

Bella ran a dubious eye over Edward's lean muscled body. She knew men could have a harder time online dating, but she suspected men with square jaws, sharp cheekbones, and smoky grey eyes were an exception.

"No one's swiping right?" She teased, ruffling his dark hair. "Maybe you should try some shirtless pics, show off your abs."

Edward swatted at her in that imperial way of his, as if she was some kind of pest. "I can't online date because of the Governor." The Governor was Carlisle Cullen, Edward's father. He adored his father and would go to the end of the Earth to spare him even a whisper of embarrassment. Apparently, that included a Tindr profile.

"I guess you can't offer any help for my profile." She had assumed that sexy, single Edward was pulling all kinds of girls online. "I just downloaded it on the uber back to the office."

"You're online dating?" Edward felt that same uncomfortable, choking sensation.

"Apparently any man I know socially is only willing to give me sex with oodles of feelings and committment." Bella sighed sadly. "Mike Newton was my last hope."

"Mike Newton was your last hope?" Edward asked dubiously. For someone as ridiculously smart as Bella, she sometimes had the wildest ideas. Mike Newton was the guy who asked a question right when the meeting was about to end and didn't observe proper urinal etiquette.

"He's so sleazy. He has hooked-up with a dozen girls at the office, without so much as a text good morning. I found Allie from accounting crying in the bathroom and she told me all about it. I thought he'd be a safe bet, meaningless sex with someone fairly attractive who'd never call me again." Bella's voice had a wistful air.

"That's all you want, string-free sex with somebody fairly attractive?" Edward asked incredulously.

"Why do you sound so disbelieving?" Bella demanded. "Women like sex, too, and it sounds like you want the same thing. Casual, simple."

"I'm not opposed to a relationship," Edward corrected. "I'm just bad at them."

"I suck at relationships, too." Bella commiserated. "But apparently, I'm the kind of girl you take back to mom, instead of tossing up her skirt and rocking her world."

Edward bit his lip. He had certainly had dreams, multiple, of lifting up Bella's skirt and in absolutely none of them did his mother show up. DO NOT TOUCH, he reminded himself, file those away. He stumbled for something socially appropriate to say. "Um, I'm sure some nice gentleman will lift up the skirt one day and not even remember your name."

"It's nice of you to say so." Bella laid her head on his shoulder. "Maybe you can help me fit that into my Tindr profile. That's what friends are for, right?"

"Of course," Edward mumbled, before he stood up quickly enough Bella slumped into the couch void. "I'm going to get some work done, since you interrupted my nap."

"Sorry," Bella offered insincerely. "Want an apology crab roll? Courtesy of Mike Newton."

Edward paused, considering. "Is it soggy? I don't want a half-assed, soggy apology crab roll."

"Let me check," Bella walked over and peered in the to-go-box. "It's only a little soggy. Definitely edible."

"I was looking forward to that nap all morning and all I get is edible?" He quirked a dark brow. "I feel short-changed here, Swan."

"Hazards of a shared office." Bella shrugged in-delicately. "You should thank me, actually, even you wouldn't look so charming if Hudson walked in on you napping on company time." Edward's boss Hudson thought Edward walked on water. It was one of Edward's worst qualities.

"I'm always charming." Edward retorted mildly. "Especially when I get my sleep."

"You should get it at home. In bed." Bella teasingly suggested. "Maybe cut out a 6am bike ride every now and then."

Edward shuddered comically. "Ok, ok, agree to disagree. I'll take the crab cake and nix the life advice."

Bella tossed the container smoothly across the space between their desks. He caught it easily. They hadn't had a food share disaster since month three when egg-salad landed on the floor.

**AN:** Next chapter Edward pitches his arrangement to Bella. What do you think of Edward? Bella? Their friendship? Do you guys think friends can have casual sex, no strings attached?


	2. Chapter 2

Ch 2

The next morning passed in a flurry of meetings and hastily thrown together charts. Bella was looking at a dataset and picking at Indian takeout when someone knocked on the office door.

Bella and Edward stared at each other in odd, mild panic. They didn't receive many visitors, and the few they did certainly didn't knock.

"Come in!" Bella called out with false cheerfulness. God knows, while Edward could be effortlessly charming, common courtesy was up to her in this office. She gestured to his feet perched arrogantly on his desk.

'_Move them,' _She mouthed. They certainly didn't give the impression of two data scientists hard at work. He didn't deign to move them. If anything, he seemed to stretch out more when Mike Newton walked in. Cocky jerk, she thought affectionately.

"Hey Bella," Mike Newton grinned handsomely from the doorway. Handsome was probably his best quality, if you liked sandy hair, boy next door good looks. He wasn't particularly funny or smart or kind. She had hoped his best quality would be his promiscuity, but he had proven selectively lacking in that department. "Still slammed today?"

Meredith grimaced quickly, before masking it with a polite smile. "Actually yeah, a lot is coming down from my boss. Important stuff." This was not particularly true or untrue, but it was certainly easier. Far easier than explaining that she never wanted to meet his mother while Edward watched in amused interest.

"That's the worst." Mike commiserated. "Mine has been riding me pretty hard lately, too. Maybe we could duck out for a quick cup of coffee sometime today? No waiter, no appetizers, just coffee." He smiled a boyish grin that had apparently seduced the female half of the accounting department.

"Probably not." Bella frowned as if this was regrettable. "Deadlines." She tacked on vaguely, nodding as if to confirm her own comment.

"Caffeine is deadline fuel- take a break with me." His smile turned just a little too smarmy, a little too slick. Here was the guy who had left Allie from Accounting sobbing in the bathroom. She was fine with sleazy in theory, but confronted with it in the form of Mike Newton's used car dealer smile, she felt herself visibly flinching away.

"I really can't." She choked out. '_Don't smile, don't smile,' _she chanted internally. In the unfair world of dating, she knew any hint of a smile would be taken as an invitation to ask her out again sometime. "Mayb-" She cut herself off, before saying 'maybe some other time.' "-Maybe Edward can go."

There. Edward _hated _Mike with a passion he usually reserved for poor line etiquette and soggy takeout fries. Even Mike, with his relentless manners and staggering self-confidence, wasn't blind to the raging hatred. Edwardhad once shut the stairway door on him during a fire drill, after all, and no one was _that_ dense. This, she thought in satisfaction, should be a shut door. It was the civilized way of telling a man you would date him when hell froze over.

Only Mike Newton's slime smile didn't dampen as he turned to Edward. "Hey man, why don't you cut her a break? The lady could use some fresh air."

For a moment, Edward's mouth dropped in awed delight, then he sat up extremely straight. He spoke quickly, as if he thought the situation would resolve itself before he could have his fun, "Do you think I, as her boss, should let her get a coffee?"

"Yeah," Mike nodded loosely. "I'll have her back in desk before you notice she's gone."

"Well, that seems fair. Bella you can go have coffee with Mike." Edward's voice was tinged with mock solemness, his eyes crinkling with mirth. "Since I'm your boss and all, I think it'll be okay as long as you pinky promise to work extra hard."

Mike had the audacity to smile at her. He was too dumb, and too dense to notice her mouth open in outrage and Edward about to bowl over laughing.

"Edward is not my boss." Bella said simply, almost more disgusted with herself than him. Almost. She wanted to ask if Edward assumed any woman who shared an office with a man was his subordinate, but decided it was better to say as little as possible. Why give him a chance to explain himself? She knew what he had thought.

"Uh, oh, he's been here longer, I just assumed…" Mike let his voice trail off uncomfortably. Mike was an excessively confident man, stripped of that confidence, no easy grin brandished on his face, she realized he wasn't really even handsome. He was simply an average looking man with carefully combed blond hair and more than his share of casual misogyny.

"Actually," Edward cut in cheerfully. "Bella has been here 2 months longer than me. She gets one whole more vacation day."

"Oh, I must have just met you first." Mike slowly shuffled backwards, pasting a weak brittle smile on his face. "We'll have to grab coffee some other time." Mike closed the door with a dejected thud.

"I will never sleep with him." Bella announced, almost apologetically.

"Is that really something you should be telling your boss?" James teased.

"You are not very compassionate for my plight." She accused before she tossed a pen at him. Unfortunately, her favorite, but it landed on his desk with a satisfying thud.

Edward stuck the pen in a cup on his desk. Jerkface. "I am full of compassion. For people who don't deign to date Mike Newton"

"I didn't date him. I went to lunch, where I was evaluating his potential hookup merits." She objected, mildly affronted. She had always known Mike wasn't boyfriend material.

"Still counts," Edward shook his head. "You broke bread with him. The man barely washes his hands."

"Well," Bella conceded reluctantly. "I wasn't aware of his hand washing habits. Really, that's the sort of thing _you_ ought to tell me. I'm shut up in here with you all day, and if you don't tell me who will?"

"You told me to shut up about Mike Newton. You said I was annoying you." Edward accused.

Edward _had _been annoying her. Her stupid dashboard had broken and she had wasted half the morning debugging it. Meanwhile, for the whole morning, Edward had been complaining about some meeting, and how Mike had made it go 15 minutes long, somehow ruining Edward's whole day and possibly week.

"Well," She said. "There is something to be said for concise warnings. Honestly, all I got from that was that you thought Mike was annoying. His questionable hygiene never came up."

"Fine, fine- I fucked up the delivery. Next time, I'll write a sticky note." Edward wrote notoriously delightful sticky notes- ones with silly pictures and cryptic, goofy notes. Over the past year she had amassed an impressive collection that adorned the wall behind her.

"Perfect." Bella beamed, pleased to have Edward admit defeat. "Now that we both see eye to eye on him, I need your opinion on someone else."

"Where'd you meet this one? A gas station?" But Edward didn't sound terribly amused by her antics. His hands were uncharacteristically still; His mouth held just a little too tight.

"Nope, Tindr." She waved her phone in the air. "Come see."

"I think I'd prefer gas station." Edward mumbled, but he got up anyways, perching himself on her desk, musing the piles of papers.

"This is Bryce." She announced with a flourish, enlarging the dating app photo. "He works in sales and has a tribal tattoo- He's perfect." The picture was of a smirking, shirtless man looking in the mirror of a messy bedroom. His blond hair was gelled into an elaborate fauxhawk and Calvin Klein boxers were displayed above baggy jeans.

"He's perfect?" Edward asked dubiously. The idea of Bella even grazing Mr. Peacock hair with her fingertip was incomprehensible. Mike Newton and her fiance, had both had a boyish, politeness in common, at face level anyways- very khakis and boy next door. Bella liked nice guys. She always said as much. But this guy looked like he tipped in the single digits and texted girls 'wassup.'

"Perfectly imperfect. I want a hookup. A fling. Can you see this guy inviting me home to mom?" _And there's no way I'll ever want to date him,_ Bella thought privately.

"Maybe- if he lives with his mom." Edward countered, leaning closer to look at the profile. His description was composed entirely of emojis that made no sense to Edward.

"You're being difficult," Bella sighed. "I'll just ask someone else."

"Ask someone else what?" Edward asked. Helplessly nosey as always.

"We're meeting at The Bostonian tonight for a drink. I thought I should let someone know where I was in case he, I don't know, turns out to be a catfish or a serial killer."

The Bostonian was an inexplicably named Irish pub near the office. Why an Irish pub was named the Bostonian was in Chicago no one knew. But it had cushy, roomy booths, a casual atmosphere, and the best happy hour around so no one seemed to care what it was called.

"So, I'm supposed to make sure you don't die? I feel like if you think McDouchebag is a killer, it might be easier to just not go out with him." Edward suggested, in what he thought was a particularly helpful manner.

Bella rolled her eyes. "You're not supposed to make sure I don't die. You're supposed to alert the cops who killed me. You in or not?"

"Fine." He grumbled. "Just tell me when you're done getting laid, I guess."

"Perfect," She beamed.

AN: Sorry for the long hiatus, but I have the third chapter ready and will upload it Tuesday! I also edited/lengthened the first chapter. I hope you like it- I'm having a lot of fun with Edward and Bella's characters.


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